Why we need to make the phrase ‘man up’ a thing of the past
More than half of men believe the pandemic has had a permanent impact on their mental health. Here’s what you can do to improve yours
Our mental health is affected by all sorts of things in our lives, from relationships, work pressures and money worries to how much sleep we are getting.
Not feeling great is very common and often doesn’t last, but if it begins to interfere with your life or stops you carrying out normal activities, it’s time to take action and ask for help.
Startling results of a six-month research project looking at the impact of the pandemic on men revealed that around three in five (58 per cent) suffered from poor wellbeing. And 29 per cent met the World Health Organisation’s criteria for depression.
The study, commissioned by men’s health charity Movember, also found that more than half of men in the UK (54 per cent) believe the pandemic has had a permanent impact on their mental wellbeing.
But while awareness of mental health issues has never been higher, men still seem to find it hard to seek help when they need it.
Experts believe a big part of the problem is that the stereotype of men always being strong, in control and self-reliant creates additional pressures that discourage them from talking about their problems when they are going through a tough time.
Michelle Terry, CEO of Movember, says: “If men who are going through a bad patch feel compelled to ‘man up’ and struggle on in silence rather than ask for help, it can put them under so much pressure they can start to feel as though there is no way out.”
In the UK, three out of four suicides are by men, and it remains the leading cause of death for males under the age of 44.
When we’re going through a stressful period that is damaging our mental wellbeing, we don’t always recognise what is happening.
Signs that may indicate things aren’t quite right include mood swings, sudden bursts of anger, not sleeping properly, feeling tired and lacking in energy, eating more or less than usual, or losing interest in things you normally enjoy.
But the good news is there is plenty we can do to boost our mental wellbeing.
Here are six effective, evidence-backed ways to feel better.
Find your purpose
We all crave purpose and meaning in our lives. Without it, we can start to feel unfulfilled and disillusioned.
Doing activities that feel meaningful can give us a clearer sense of purpose and that boosts our overall wellbeing and happiness. “Men often get their sense of purpose from their work and being able to provide for and take care of their family,” explains Michelle.
“But if you don’t enjoy your work, you might want to look for fulfilment in other areas of your life.
“This could be taking up a new skill or hobby, taking on a fitness challenge for charity or doing something that helps someone else.”
Spend time with people who make you feel good
Feeling connected and valued by other people is a fundamental human need.
Both giving and getting support has been
shown to increase happiness levels and wellbeing. “Having strong friendships has a major influence on our long-term health and wellbeing,” says Michelle.
“Spending time with your mates and having people to rely on in a crisis is good for everyone.”
Try to make the time to catch up regularly and re-establish any friendships that might have drifted during lockdown.
Talk more
The quality of the conversations you have with your close friends is just as important as the amount of time that you spend together, explains Michelle.
“Men tend to use banter as a way of breaking the ice and connecting with each other, which is really important.
“But we need them to go beyond the wisecracks and start talking about the things that really matter in life because that can help us to slowly release some of the pressure we’re under,” she says.
“Confiding in someone about a problem that’s bothering you can help you stay mentally healthy.
“It isn’t a sign of emotional weakness – getting someone else’s perspective can help you see a situation in a new light.”
Stay active
When we’re feeling rubbish, we often can’t be bothered to exercise but that’s the time when we need it most. Being active doesn’t just benefit our physical health, it can also raise self-esteem and change our mood for the better.
Research suggests that men are more likely to be motivated to exercise for social or competitive reasons, rather than to improve their looks or lose some weight.
“Understanding what motivates us to exercise could be the key to doing more of it,” says Michelle.
Support others
Giving our time to help others doesn’t just benefit them, it makes us feel good too. Studies suggests that helping a friend also creates positive feelings in ourselves.
That could mean volunteering in your community, fundraising, or helping out someone close to you.
Having strong friendships has a major influence on wellbeing
Call in the experts
We all have times when our mood is low but if the feelings don’t pass and start to interfere with your life, it could be a sign that it’s time to call in an expert.
This could mean making an appointment with your GP or other mental health professional.