CHILLI DOWN BELLEND MADE ME CHOP MY COCK OFF

STARS: Toby and Vicky in new drama A MORON who put the world’s hottest chilli down the end of his cock CHOPPED OFF his manhood after he collapsed in agonising pain.

Darren Kensington, 41, bought the Carolina Reaper chillis – which are 400 times hotter than fiery jalapeno peppers – to spice up a curry.

But after being waylaid by pals on the way back from the supermarket and downing “many ciders” Darren, who is between- jobs at the moment, accepted a dare to slip a sliver of chilli into his chap’s eye.

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Speaking from his hospital bed, Darren told Sunday Sport: “At first, there was nothing but a mild tingling and I thought all the talk about this super- hot chilli was bollocks.

“But then the pain started. It was like someone had put a tiny flame thrower into the end of my dick.

“The pain enveloped my whole groin area and I was doubled up in agony. I tried to pull the chilli out of my cock but I couldn’t get any purchase on it.

“Everything I did just pushed it further and further DOWN.

“My friends thought it was bloody hilarious and were on their backs laughing. It was only when I grabbed hold of WARNING: Darren put a slice of super- hot chilli down penis for a dare a knife and was about to cut my cock off that they realised I was in some serious trouble.

“But they were too late – I chopped off my cock with one slice. The relief was incredible… then I passed out.”

Medics in Cardiff later reattach Darren’s blistered member and he now faces an agonising wait to find out if the operation has been a success.

He warned: “Safe to say, putting a chilli pepper down your chap’s eye is not a trick you should try at home.”

Supermarker giant Tesco last week revealed they are now selling the Carolina Reaper in their stores and punters are warned not to handle the peppers without using gloves.