WORLD FARTING CHAMP SHITS HIMSELF TO DEATH

YURT- DWELLING hippies choked on their mung beans when they spotted this giant cock and balls made of TREES.

The incredible fallic formation appeared on a hillside near Tylwch in Powys, Mid Wales, and even had some sheep milling at the bellend area looking a bit like SPUNK.

It was photographed by Emily Loins, 46, who told Sunday Sport: “We go glamping there every year but never spotted the tree cock and balls. Mother Nature’s a dirty bitch!” THE world of competitive farting is in mourning today after world champ Andrew Bassett died in a car smash – caused by him FOLLOWING THROUGH as he tuned his nipsy ahead of an event.

Andrew, 49, was heading to an exhibition event in Bayonne, south- west France, when his rented Citroen AX swerved into the path of a lorry on the busy A64 autoroute.

The unmarried plumber died instantly. Coroner’s officers at the scene concluded that Andrew – who at Baden- Baden, Germany, last year won the World Farting Championships for the third time – was “momentarily distracted” WIND OF CHANGE: Andrew died after smash in Citroen ( below) at the time of the crash. Friend and fellow farter Julian Frobisher said: “I know exactly how this happened. When Andy was travelling to an event – be it competitive or just an exhibition event like this – he would always trump out a few practice pumps in the car on the way. It was a way to get his ringpiece tuned.

“I can only assume that he accidentally shat himself due to that filthy, greasy French food and the shock made him crash. In a sense, he shat himself to death.

“He was a good friend and a credit to the world of competitive farting.”