Proof once more that councils are baaaa-my!

OVER the years, this column has been filled many times by the antics of our local councils.

The burghers who collect our council tax every month have always been rich pickings. They are the gift that keeps on giving.

Down in deepest Gloucestershire the Forest of Dean District Council has swung into action after a householder got his rosebush nibbled by a sheep.

Bear in mind that local folk in the Forest of Dean, called “commoners”, have had the right to graze their sheep anywhere in the forest for around 1,000 years.

And for that 1,000 years, locals have known that you need a fence or wall around your garden to keep the sheep out. It’s a system that’s worked for a millennium.

In recent years, wealthy JohnnyCome- Lately types in the village of Bream have been tearing down their boundary walls, so they can fit another f** king 4x4 in their drive. And it’s one of these tosspots who complained his herbaceous borders are being nibbled by Larry the Lamb.

Shit

Many other newcomers have griped that the sheep “baa” too loudly or – horror of horrors – that they don’t clear up after themselves when they’ve had a shit.

Now, rather than telling these townie c** t- tards to take a running f** k, Forest of Dean District Council has threatened anyone allowing sheep to “enter and remain” in Bream with a fine of up to £ 1,000.

That’s right. The council – a council in a rural area where ivestock have roamed for centuries – has made sheep ILLEGAL.

The council used a legislative device called a Public Spaces Protection Order. PSPOs make specific legal activities – like being a sheep – illegal within a certain area.

But they’ve not stopped there. Forest of Dean District Council has set up an Irresponsible Shepherding Scrutiny Task Group. What. The. Actual. F** K?!!!!! I was not certain who to throw on a bonfire first: the whingeing, Waitrose- shopping, Jeremy and Jemima c** ts who complained about the sheep, or the local council for indulging these shit- for- brains twats.

But, with their Shepherding Task Force, the council have barged to the front of the queue.

Where’s my c** ting petrol?