MP: Take doors off uni dorms to prevent bonking
Big-boobed porn star gave Scotty T first stiffy
A GOVERNMENT minister want to remove DOORS from student accommodation – to prevent them having sex!
Social Affairs Minister Khofifah Indar Parawansa ( above) is well known for her hardline views and said: “Not only men and women who are doing it [ sex]. The thing that is equally dangerous is men with men and women with women.”
Khofifah said that removing the doors would make it easier to monitor salacious activities in university dorms in Muslimmajority Indonesia.
As Sunday Sport reported last week, a number of conservative academics have filed a judicial review against the Criminal Code in a bid to make sex between unmarried couples, including same- sex couples, a crime.
Khofifah is one the top government officials backing this conservative agenda. WHEN animal rights activists received a tip that DOGS were being served at a Korean takeaway, they didn’t hesitate.
A squad of the militant bunny- huggers smashed their way into the back of the south London eatery and freed no fewer than SIX hapless dogs.
But one of the newly- liberated dogs stood out from the others – because he bore an uncanny resemblance to moon- faced pop warbler James Arthur. One of the masked animal rights activists – who declined to give his name, claiming to be on a government watch list – said: “We suddenly realised that this dog looked familiar.
“Then someone said ‘ It’s James Arthur, off of X Factor!
Bastards
“We decided to keep him as a sort of mascot for the anti- dog eating movement. We’ve even called him James.
“We reckon that if these Koreans can eat a dog that looks like James Arthur off of X Factor, they’ll eat anything. The vile GEORDIE Shore ladies’ man Scotty T used to bash one out over mega- boobed PORN star Lolo Ferrari.
The 28- year- old reality star admitted Lolo – and her eye- watering 54Gs – was one of the first women to give him a stiffy after bastards. Actually, now we’re hoping to find James a new home because, quite frankly, we’re a bit sick of his whining and shitting everywhere.”
A spokesman for Kim Tasty, the takeaway involved in the raid, said: “It is outrage. We do not serve dog here. That is a racist thing to say.
“We do not all eat dogs – most especially dogs that looks like X Factor winners.
“We were just looking after the dogs for some old ladies.”
Can you give a home to poor, sad- eyed James and save him from the risk of a horrible end? Call 0161 381 0152. he discovered rude telly show Eurotrash.
MTV star Scotty ( left) said: “It was our only chance to check out lush European lasses with huge tits bouncing on trampolines.
“Lolo looked like a freak, but when you’re a kid who’s barely seen a bird’s body, you think she is the most perfect woman you’ve ever seen and you wished that she was jumping up and down right in front of you.
“I used to get horny over it, I f** king loved every filthy minute of it!”