BOOBS ON BOX THE
BRITAIN’S ONLY NAKED TV GUIDE with SIMON DEAN
TODAY
Spike, 9pm, Flight of Fury STEVEN Seagal looks on as two warring women have a topless snogathon ( above) at 55 mins. Horror Channel, 9pm, Antiviral BIZARRE tale about a secret virus maker who gets into some trouble when a gorgeous celebrity – who we see naked in a flashback – ends up dead. Gold, 11pm, M* A* S* H* CLASSIC comedy about three young Yank surgeons in the Korean War, with boobs- out action at 42 mins and 1hr 12 mins.
MONDAY
5 Star, 11pm, Piranha 3D HORROR comedy where Kelly Brook ( right) goes starkers underwater at 25 mins and boobs throughout. Horror Channel, 11pm, Nude Nuns with Big Guns I DON’T think there’s anything to add to this – it’s all there in the film title. Film4, Midnight, Trance THRILLER about an amnesiac with some excellent nudity from Rosario Dawson on the 1hr mark, including her shaven love lips.
TUESDAY
Movies4Men, 9pm, The Bounty REMAKE starring Mel Gibson and a bevy of topless South Pacific babes ( above) that’ll make you cook up something similar to coconut milk. Horror Channel, 10.55pm, The Asylum A GROUP of college kids spend the night in an asylum. Boobs come out before the killings start. ITV4, 11.15pm, From Dusk Till Dawn JULIETTE Lewis with her knickers round her thighs and Salma Hayek dirty dancing with a snake do it for me every time.
WEDNESDAY
Horror Channel, 9pm, Book of Blood VERY violent horror from the pages of Clive Barker, with norks ( above) from 34 mins. Movie Mix, 9pm, The General’s Daughter JOHN Travolta investigates the murder of an army general’s daughter, who we see without her top on in a flashback at 14 mins. Sky Comedy, 11.55pm, Two Night Stand DECENT enough comedy about a couple getting together, with a down- the- top nipple glimpse at 5 mins.
THURSDAY
Comedy Channel, 9pm, That’s My Boy NOT the greatest comedy from Adam Sandler, but there are some very big boobs at 1hr 11 mins. ITV4, 11.15pm, Unleashed MARTIAL arts flick with lady nip action at 7 mins, 1hr 10 mins and 1hr 24 mins. Movie Mix, 11.50pm, Pistol Whipped YET another Steven Seagal flick which has some cracking norks ( right) at 45 mins.
FRIDAY
Film4, 9pm, The Guest A SOLDIER is taken in by the family of a late army pal, with boobs ( above) at 34 mins. 5 Star, 10pm, Layer Cake DANIEL Craig’s drug dealing character bonks a naked woman in the opening sequence, plus Sienna Miller’s sideboob appears at 49 mins. Movie Mix, 11.30pm, Die Hard ACTION thriller with Bruce Willis trying to save hostages in a skyscraper siege. Brief boobs at 23 mins.