BOO BS ON THE BOX BOX ON THE
BRITAIN’S ONLY NAKED TV GUIDE with SIMON DEAN
TODAY
Horror Channel, 9pm, Cassadaga NO times but I’m assured there are more than a couple of appearances of upper lady flesh in this gory thriller. Syfy, 9pm, Dorian Gray FILM adaptation of the Oscar Wilde tale about a man who retains youth by shagging everything. Plenty of boobs, especially at 49 mins. Horror Channel, 11.10pm, Primal GOOD- looking college kids venture into a spooky jungle, only to be confronted by beasties. Toplessness ( above) at 20 mins.
MONDAY Syfy, 9pm, Sin City ADAPTATION of the superb Frank Miller graphic novel about a dystopian society, but you’ll have to wait a whole 13 minutes before you see the first boob of the film. Horror Channel, 10.55pm, Hostel: Part II PLANNING a holiday to Slovakia? Make sure you choose your accommodation well. Full frontal female nudity ( right) starts at 49 mins. TUESDAY
Comedy Central, 10pm, American Pie Presents Beta House SPIN off from the brilliant original franchise, with buckets of feminine nakedness starting at a mere 4 mins in. Horror Channel, 10.55pm, Lust for a Vampire EXCELLENT British filth from the 1970s with nude girl- on- girl action ( above) – adding nothing whatsoever to the plot – starting at 20 mins. Horror Channel, 12.50am, Zombie Strippers NO explanation needed other than to say your first peep of ladybush comes at 12 mins and rarely gives up after that.
WEDNESDAY
Sony Channel, 9pm, Alfie JUDE Law stars in the remade role that made Sir Michael Caine famous, with Sienna Miller peeling off to reveal her nude topless pertness ( above) at 56 mins. Trust me – you would. Syfy, 10pm, Death Race: Inferno BROS star Luke Goss – actually, you need to be over 40 to know who that is – is literally racing for his life. Showery lady norks at 52 mins.
THURSDAY
Horror Channel, 10.45pm, Antiviral A HI- TEC virus dealer must fight for his life in a celebrity- obsessed future, which makes no sense at all, but there are definitely boobs in this. Movie Mix, 1.45am, The Juror DEMI Moore stars in this courtroom drama that doesn’t really do anything until Anne Heche whips her boobs out ( above) at 1hr 19mins.
FRIDAY
Horror Channel, 9pm, Girls against Boys TWO bitter babes with a vendetta against men – involving an entirely necessary flash of boobs and tidy underbeard at 1hr 21 mins. True Entertainment, 1am, Redeemer A FORMER hitman seeks redemption, but not before we witness the stripping off of a pretty Chilean lady seconds before the 4 mins mark. Movie Mix, 2.30am, Fortress 2 A BLOKE tries to escape from a space prison 26,000 miles from earth. Fortunately he has a lady friend who first peels off ( above) at 29 mins.