Grow pubes to save crabs plea by mad eco militants

‘We’ve had threesomes and been to huge orgies’ ‘He licked me out, she snogged my face off’ ‘I watched a bloke getting sucked off in a backstreet’

ECO- NUTS are growing their pubes – after hearing that CRABS are endangered thanks to genital grooming.

In recent years pubes have gone out of the window, first with the rise of the Brazilian wax and then with fully- shaven minges becoming all the rage.

Even MEN have started trimming their downstairs.

As a result, there are fewer pubes for crabs – or pubic lice – to live in and numbers have plummeted.

Now a barmy eco outfit called Save Our Crabs is encouraging folk to let their pubic hair grow free.

Founder Gretchen Moon said: “When it comes to biodiversity, we cannot pick and choose. Shaving your pubes is as bad as cutting down the rain forest. It’s destruction of habitat, pure and simple.

“OK, pubic lice are not to everyone’s taste but they have a right to be on this earth just as we have.” HORNY couple Terry Jones and Kaci Clover are one of Wolverhampton’s raunchiest couples – and they love SWINGING.

They said: “We met on a night out and shagged that same night. One- night stands are pretty common in Wolverhampton – everyone’s at it.

“From that night, we just couldn’t get enough of each other and any free time we had, we’d meet up and bonk.

“When we had work breaks, we’d meet up in the cars and have a quickie, and when we were out at restaurants we’d sneak off to the loos for a shag.

“We watched a programme on TV about swingers and it seemed the perfect way to have even more sex.

“Neither of us cared about us shagging other people, if anything it turned us on.

“We’re members of the local swinging club now and go at least twice a month to feed our sexual appetite.

“We have been involved in huge orgies, and threesomes happen regularly when we’re there.

“Between us we’ve romped with well over 200 people in a year and long may it continue.

“Wolverhampton is the home of swinging and we love it.” GORGEOUS Gemma is an anomaly in Wolverhampton, as she’s had a lot fewer kinky nights in her home city.

She said: “When I saw that the average Wolverhampton person shags 48 people in their lifetime, I wasn’t surprised.

“I’ve only slept with five fellas and, compared to my friends, that’s angelic – I’m practically a virgin!

“I do wear short skirts and low- cut tops and even really tight dresses to attract men.

“Then when I do pull a hottie, he’s always too pissed to do anything about it.

“I’m proud I’ve slept with NEWS: How survey was reported WE met five years ago when we lived in halls at the University of Wolverhampton and have been best mates ever since, says Michelle.

We got stuck in and racked up as many bonks as we could. In my first year alone I reckon I got pretty close to triple figures. And Tracy wasn’t far behind!

One night I got back to find Tracy on her knees sucking a guy off. She blinked open her eyes when she heard the door go, but carried on deep- throating him.

I watched for a while before the guy pulled me towards them. He pushed me on the bed and started licking my pussy less men than most, maybe it’ll make me better girlfriend material.

“When I’ve been out in the city, I’ve seen girls getting fingered in clubs and even once saw a bloke getting sucked off down a backstreet.

“If those women want to do that, then fine – but it’s just not for me.

“Maybe I’ll have to get out of Wolverhampton to find anyone who’s not slept with 50 girls!” A SAUCY sex poll last week revealed that the sex- mad people of Wolverhampton boast the highest number of shagging partners than ANYWHERE else in the UK.

The findings revealed that the average number of notches on bedposts in the west Midlands city is an impressive 48.

So, in true journalistic fashion, we headed there to find out from the locals whether Wolverhampton – population around 250,000 – really is home to the horniest people in Britain. while Tracy snogged my face off. It was unbelievable and I came in about a minute!

After that we took turns pleasuring each other and the lad stuck his dick in both of us.

Me and Tracy were already close, but I think the bond got even stronger that night, ha!

The next morning we both smirked as we sat and ate our breakfast.

Now we both look back and laugh about what a wicked time we had at uni!