LUCY’S BIG PUB QUIZ!
SPOT THE DIFFERENCE FUNNY MEN
a) Won the debating competition b) Got drunk on whisky c) Unspeakable things with a biscuit and five other boys d) Declared independence for his form PICTURES of Prince Harry’s girlfriend Meghan Markle doing what emerged last week? a) Eating panda meat b) Going topless on a beach c) Getting married d) Driving a white Fiat Panda in a Paris tunnel in 1997 LAST week it was 30 years since the release of U2’ s Joshua Tree album. Who is the biggest twat in the band? a) Bono b) Bono c) Bono d) Bono MANCHESTER United’s millionaire striker Zlatan Ibrohimovic bought his wife what for Christmas? a) A framed picture of himself b) A framed picture of herself c) A framed picture of Jose Mourinho d) A framed picture of the Chuckle Brothers IT’S been 20 years since Kate Winslet starred in the movie Titanic. But what did she ask to be painted like? a) One of your French girls b) One of your French cheeses c) One of your Italian men d) One of your American women POP ginger Ed Sheeran thought he was going to get a bollocking off his dad because… a) He was caught speeding b) He got jam all over the living room sofa c) He forgot to get his mum a birthday present d) He admitted he’d voted for Brexit WHAT happened to politician Amber Rudd in Downing Street last week? a) She went twos- up with Boris Johnson and Michael Grove b) She was overheard admitting the Government’s Brexit plans were a shambles c) She was overheard calling the German leader Angela Merkel “a dog- faced lezzer” d) The heel on her stilettos got caught in between the flags. WHAT was US president elect Donald Trump forced to deny? a) He watched two prostitutes black up and have sex while pretending to be Barack and Michelle Obama b) He watched two prostitutes play etch- a- sketch while naked c) He watched two prostitutes piss all over a bed that Barack and Michelle Obama had once slept in d) He is a lizard MOVIE La La Land swept the board at the Golden Globes last week. What is it about? a) Scousers b) A stutterer c) A jazz pianist falling for an actress in LA d) A jazz guitarist falling for a living statue in LA THE doll of actress Emma Watson’s character from the Disney movie Beauty and the Beast has been criticised because… a) It looks more like Liz Hurley b) It looks more like Justin Bieber c) It’s racist, for some reason d) Her head is too big to use comfortably as a sex toy COPS in France arrested how many people for robbing Kim Kardashian in Paris? a) 12 b) 16 c) 0 d) 11 THIS year sees the 30th anniversary of classic 80s movie Dirty Dancing. But where should you never put Baby? a) In the oven b) In the corner c) In Jennifer Grey’s nose d) In the freezer FORMER England manager Graham Taylor died aged 72. But what vegetable did a downmarket newspaper famously turn him into? a) Brocolli b) Kale c) Pumpkin d) Turnip WHAT did former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham say she regretted? a) Quitting the Spice Girls b) Having a boob job c) Strangling a young chimpanzee to death with her bare hands d) Giving up her singing career CAN you match the comedian to the joke?
We’ve picked six of the funniest ever one liners and all you have to do is match the comic to the quip. I’VE got a friend whose nickname is “Shagger”. You might think that’s pretty cool. She doesn’t like it.