HELL GRAN BUTCHERED BUNNIES WITH LAWNMOWER

ONCE upon a time in this country we drank tea and ruled an empire.

Now, like Tesco Value Americans, we slurp coffee in a million variations such as mocha, Short Macchiato, Long Macchiato, Ristretto and Long Black.

Most sane people despair at this development, but the anguish is eased somewhat thanks to the latest craze of young ladies baring their boobs in coffee bars.

One coffee shop regular said: “Spending three and a half quid on a cup of coffee may be the act of a c** t but the pussy in these coffee shops is spot on.

“Not seen any topless ones, mind you.” WHEN two beloved pet rabbits hopped into Gladys Morrison’s garden and munched on her perennials, the 70- year- old gran did not hesitate…

The green- fingered OAP ran over the bunnies with her ride- on mower!

And watching the horror scene from her bedroom window in Biddulph, Staffs, was Jo Stoate – mother of Flopsy and Mopsy’s eight- year- old owner Gwendoline.

Single mum Jo, 30, who has taken to gin in the wake of the massacre, told Sunday Sport: “I just couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

Guts

“I spotted Flopsy and Mopsy in Mrs Morrison’s garden and thought, ‘ Oh dear, I’ll bet them pair are up to no good’.

“Then, almost from nowhere, Mrs Morrison shot across the lawn on her lawnmower and ran over the rabbits!

“It was a scene of utter SLAUGHTERED: Flopsy & Mopsy were mown down by evil OAP Gladys Morrison ( below) carnage – there were bits of rabbit fur and guts all over the lawn.

“I told our Gwen later on that the rabbits were taken by buzzards. Well, I can’t tell her what really happened, can I?

“I would go round to confront Mrs Morrison but she’s a psycho.”

Last night Morrison told our reporter: “If rabbits come in my garden, they die. It’s as simple as that.”