Crusty old Angus is bake

Clare’s boat race – again! TUESDAY

BBC1, 4pm –

CLARE Balding – who f** king else? – presents live coverage of the University Boat Race on the River Thames, as Cambridge aim to retain the men’s title.

Thousands of people will line the course of four miles and 374 yards from Putney to Mortlake in what is one of the longestestablished events on the British sporting calendar.

Apparently, the ladies’ teams are having a little boat race of their own on the same afternoon, which is terribly sweet, isn’t it?

– BBC2, 8pm

OH look – another f** king cooking show! It’s a good job we have so many programmes telling us how to cook, what with the lack of takeaways on the High Streets and all.

The pastry contest returns in a revamped knockout format, as five teams battle to stay in the competition and make it through to the next heat.

First, they are challenged to make 36 identical Moka au Cafe slices and Napoleons in just three hours, before creating a showpiece dessert inspired by the classic Peach Melba. Hosted by Angus Deayton. DOCUMENTARY about people with a compulsion to constantly move their feet. It’s a condition so severe for some that they want to have their legs chopped off.

Cameras follow the pensioner who contemplates suicide due to severe sleep deprivation caused by his tingling legs, and the sufferer stuck in doors due to the embarrassment of her wriggling legs.

Yes, it must be terribly upsetting – but this show demonstrates that C5 will buy a documentary about anything. Absolutely anything. HONEST… I shit you not!

Documentary about the comedian’s rise to fame, examining the influence of his fellow comedian father on his early routines before his eventual breakthrough at the 2006 Royal Variety show.

The programme also explores how he has been involved in series that have reinvented stand- up comedy on TV, including Live at the Apollo and Comedy Roadshow.

You may prefer Pro- Celebrity Watching Paint Dry on Bravo.