Ogle the queen naked!

Every one’s a Windsor TUESDAY

9pm – BBC1, 8pm

BIOPIC of Barbara Windsor – known to newspapermen down the ages as Busty Babs Windsor – following the key events of her life over the course of 50 years.

The story begins in 1993, with the actress preparing for a stage performance, before flashing back to her childhood as a lonely evacuee in the Second World War, her rise to fame in the Carry On films and her difficult relationships with her father and her first husband, gangster Ronnie Knight.

Samantha Spiro, Jaime Winstone and Windsor herself share the lead role in what is a riveting tribute to a true British star.

– C5,

NEW series. Drama- documentary about the life of Elizabeth I, featuring reconstructions of key moments in her reign and starring Lily Cole as the queen.

The first episode focuses on her teenage years, which she spent banished from the royal court as siblings Edward and Mary came to the throne in turn.

I mention this because Lily Cole’s in it. Google ‘ Lily Cole nude’ and see why I like her so much… NEW series. Davina McCall and Nicky Campbell revisit eight searches to find out how lives have been transformed.

Of course, the original show touched hearts across Britain as families rent asunder by the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune are brought together by the jabbering Davina.

Is it too much to ask – just as an antidote to this saccharine drivel – for at least one of the reunited families to come to blows? A COMPILATION of illusions that went spectacularly badly, including several cases where magicians nearly died for their act.

Escapologist Spencer Horsmann nearly drowned three times performing his water tank act, while Canadian magician Dean Gunnarson was pronounced dead after being fished out of a river for a stunt, and Shahid Malik has suffered both serious burns and a 40- foot fall from illusions gone wrong.

Plus, mishaps featuring famous magicians including Dynamo, Paul Daniels and David Blaine.

I f** king hate magic acts, so this is a must- watch.