JEREMY CORBYN BANNED FROM DOGGING CLUB
THAT’S why he’s banned from the St Joseph’s DOGGING CLUB
HAPLESS Jeremy Corbyn’s kicking in last week’s local elections was followed by yet another blow last night when the Labour leader was sensationally BANNED from an influential DOGGING club.
Steve Phillips, secretary of Leeds- based St Joseph’s Dogging Club, claimed the 67- year- old socialist broke strict dogging etiquette by spunking over his prized Austin Montego.
Chaos
Steve raged: “Without rules, dogging could descend into chaos.
“And this Corbyn man broke a central rule of the St Joseph’s club – no spunking on the Montego.”
Steve explained that Jeremy Corbyn approached a meeting of the club, who were gathered to watch Steve and lovely his wife Gloria enjoy carnal relations at Golden Acre Park, a well- known dogging venue.
He said: “This bloke came up and said he’d been trying out several dogging clubs and associations around Leeds but would like to join ours as he’d heard such good things about it.
“He didn’t look like Jeremy Corbyn and he had a broad Scouse accent but Gloria said she was sure it was him – only without the beard and a bit taller.
“I said that he could hang about and that we’d sort out his membership card and rule book later. But I explained to him that on no account was he to jizz on the Montego.
“It’s a classic, a 1992 that’s still in perfect nick. I polish it every month but spunk plays havoc with the shine. But what happens? Just five minutes after we get going? You guessed it… Corbyn’s shooting his muck all over the passenger door.
“Gloria was beside herself, screaming ‘ Jeremy Corbyn’s spunked on the Montego!’
“I got out of the car and yelled, ‘ You! Corbyn! Get out of here! You’re banned from this dogging club, leftie git!’
“He took to his heels and fled. Next day I phoned the Labour Party to complain about their leader and demand the cost of a T- Cut to put things right.
Sick
“They denied knowing anything about it. That makes me sick. It’s no wonder people don’t trust politicians when they go round spunking on people’s cars and then just denying responsibility.
“To my dying day, I’ll maintain that it was Jeremy Corbyn who spunked on my car. It stands to reason.”
A Corbyn supporter said last night: “This story is being put about by the right- wing press to discredit our leader and destroy his image.”
Labour lost control of several councils and hundreds of seats in Thursday’s local election vote.
‘I complained to Labour Party – they denied it’