50 STONE TRUMP DOUBLE BREAKS STING’S TOILET
SPARE a thought for tubby Graham Goodman.
Not only has a food addiction left him weighing 50 stones, he’s also the spitting image of unhinged US President DONALD TRUMP!
And in the latest disaster to hit unmarried Graham, 57, he broke a TOILET while attending a recent Sting concert in Amsterdam.
Graham, of Stoke- on- Trent, travelled to the Dutch city by ferry – he can’t afford the cost of a double ticket for air travel – after saving up for six months to see his idol last month at the Heineken Music Hall.
He explained: “I’ve seen Sting before, but that night he was on the finest form I’ve ever seen him.
“When he performed Every Step You Take, I had tears in my eyes. It was sublime.”
But delight turned to despair after the gig when Graham popped off to take a poo.
He said: “I’d been indulging in rather too many pancakes, so by the time the concert was over I had the turtle’s head good and proper.
“I queued for ages and had to go in the disabled toilet – because that was the only cubicle big enough for me.
“I did my business and then stood up, but then I slipped on some Dutchman’s piss and fell back down on the lavvy. It collapsed under me.”
It took seven concert attendants to hoist Graham upright – and he said the shame of the incident has spurred him to lose weight.
Floundering
He explained: “Never again do I want to be in a situation where I’m floundering around on the pissy floor of a Dutch toilet.
“And if that means a crash diet, so be it. I’m already down to 50 stone from 53 six weeks ago.”
We sent 20- year- old stunna Charlotte Wilkes along to cheer Graham up and help inspire him to shed a few pounds.
The 36B blonde beauty said: “He certainly was fat. And he certainly looked like Donald Trump.
“Poor man. I wish him well.”