HE TAKES ALL THE WEEK’S NEWS & PULLS ITS PANTS DOWN

THE BBC boobs by accidentally showing footage of a porn film during the 10 O’Clock News.

The grot was playing on a newshound’s computer screen while Sophie Raworth read the cricket report.

But that’s not what she meant by a couple of bouncers and a full toss. DONALD Trump brings us all one step closer to nuclear Armageddon by threatening to send “fire and fury” to North Korea. The sad thing is that he was actually trying to be nice. Fire and Fury are a pair of strippers from Florida. And if Kim Jong- Un asks nicely, they’d be happy to show him their arsenals. SLAPHEAD singer Sinead O’Connor says she is living in a Travelodge and feeling suicidal.

We’ve all been there, luv. Just have a pot noodle and a wank... you’ll soon nod off. A DRAMA teacher is banned from her profession after she bedded a female student then took her to see the musical Matilda. It’s a shame they won’t enjoy any more naughty trips, as the West End has so much to offer. She could take her to see Bend Her Like Beckham, Diddle Her On The Hoof or Oklahomo! VICTORIA Beckham threatens legal action after a takeaway shop uses her image to advertise an ultra- thin crust pizza.

They were just having a laugh, but it seems she has a chip on her shoulder – even if she’s never had one in her belly.

They should launch the David Beckham pizza next. It’s extremely thick and very rich . A CHINESE teenager has surgery after a hormone imbalance caused one of his pectoral muscles to turn into an A- cup breast. The poor lad. Every time he took his shirt off, he must have felt a right tit.