THE STRAIN HAS ARRIVED AT PLATFORM No2

Hubby holds wife’s hands as she squats over tracks & does a SHIT at busy station

ROMANTIC: Maureen and Alan IN the 1970s we had those “Love Is…” characters printed on just about everything.

But they never did “Love Is… holding your wife’s hands while she shits off a railway platform!”

However, that’s exactly the act of devotion which Alan Tomkins performed for his loose- bowelled wife Maureen at Manchester’s busy Piccadilly railway station.

After a night on the piss, plasterer Alan, 59, and his 58- year- old missus walked to the station to catch the train back to their native Stockport.

But as they approached the platform, Maureen’s insides began to grumble.

Alan said: “Neither of us had the 30p change that the toilets charge at the station. Maureen said to me, ‘ There’s no way I can hold this in until we get to Stockport. I’ve got the turtle’s head and everything’.

“Well, 25 years ago I made the vow to support her for better or for worse so I told her, ‘ Take your kecks off and I’ll hold your hands while you lean back and shit on the track’.

“Her eyes filled up and she said, ‘ Would you really do that for me?’”

Anus

So, safely held by her hubby, Maureen squatted and positioned her anus over the tracks before she opened the bomb bays. RAILWAY: A busy station like the one Maureen shat in

Alan added: “Maureen’s quite a weight and my arms were aching but that sigh of relief that she let out made it all worthwhile.

“There was a bit of a smell and some of the other passengers looked down their noses at us, but so what?

“My wife wanted a shit and my wife got a shit. Simple as that.”

Maureen told Sunday Sport: “Holding me out over the railway tracks while I had a shit was the most romantic thing our Alan’s ever done for me.”