NUDIST JAMES CORDEN EATEN BY WEASELS
Lookalike’s horror death
THE world of naturism is in mourning after one of its leading lights was found dead at the base of a tree with sharp- toothed WEASELS gnawing on his soft private parts.
It’s believed 20- stone nudist Alan King – who bore a striking facial resemblance to under- fire comic James Corden – fell as he clambered up a poplar tree close to the Rising Moon Health Recreation Centre near Holmes Chapel, Cheshire.
Pals at the centre, one of the north west’s top naturist camps, say unmarried Alan, 37, “lived for nudity and the freedom of climbing trees”.
Fading
He was found by fellow naturist Glenda Patterson, who had gone to look for her pal as darkness began to fall on the Cheshire countryside last Wednesday.
Glenda, 80, told Sunday Sport: “The light was fading but I could make out a shape at the base of a poplar tree.
“My stomach lurched as I thought, ‘ I’ve warned Alan about climbing trees… it’s finally done for him’. As I got
closer I saw it was Alan. And then I saw something moving on his body. As I live and breathe, there were two weasels.
“I knew they were weasels because they were smaller than stoats and did not have the black patch on the end of their tails.
“One of the little blighters was eating Alan’s beef paste sandwiches – they were his favourite – while another was devouring his pudgy little winkie.”
Paramedics were called who later pronounced Alan dead at the scene.
Meanwhile, the real James Corden is desperately fighting the fallout from ill- judged gags he made about shamed Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein at the AmfAR Gala in Los Angeles.
Corden – who has carved out a lucrative career in the US – was forced to apologise after he was attacked by dozens of Hollywood stars.
In a brief Twitter thread, the Carpool Karaoke and Late, Late Show host said: “I was not trying to make light of Harvey’s inexcusable behaviour... but to shame him, the abuser, not his victims. I am truly sorry for anyone offended.”