OH FECK! MRS BROWN TURNED ME INTO A TRANNY

SHIT FACED!

TWO FACED: Barry betrayed wife Susan A MAN with SHIT smeared onto his face broke into a family’s home, stripped naked, sat at the kitchen table… and then slit his throat with a carving knife.

Spaced- out Danny Hollis Jr, 35, then ran upstairs and leapt out of the landing window – before running off.

Lt Melinda Brewer, of the Lawrence County Sheriff’s Office in Tennessee said: “This man walks in. The family is all there. He strips naked. Says the dog is looking at him. He grabs a knife and he cuts his throat. He goes up stairs and jumps out a window, and then he takes off running.”

Hollis was caught and admitted to smoking Wasp – a mixture of crystal meth and insect spray.

He’s now in jail where he thinks he’s a beaver. THERE must be a million reasons not to watch the insipid tripe that is BBC1’ sMrs Brown’s Boys. But Barry Jones has the best reason yet to avoid the show – as it turned him into a TRANSVESTITE! At least, that’s what the 53- year- old is telling the world after wife Susan left him on Christmas Day over his Irish housewife- themed crossdressing antics.

Awaiting his divorce papers at home in Crewe, Cheshire, SHITE SHOW: Mrs Brown’s Boys Barry lamented: “After the Mrs Brown’s Boys Christmas Special on Christmas Day, I went up into the loft and put on my Mrs Brown’s costume.

“Susan had gone to bed, so I thought I would be OK.”

Stroke

Woken by sounds of furious masturbation from the attic, Susan went to investigate – finding Barry at the vinegar stroke with his grey wig askew and his spectacles steamed up.

Barry recalled: “Susan said ‘ Oh Barry, you’d said you were done with all that. I warned you – I’m leaving.”

Barry admitted: “Like all right- thinking people, I thought the show was utter shite.

“But there was something about Agnes Brown’s getup that thrilled me and I soon had an outfit.

“To my shame, I paraded around in the kit and took selfies. Susan found the photos on the computer and went berserk.

“I promised I’d never do it again, but I hid all my Mrs Brown clobber in the loft. I knew I’d wear it again.

“But I betrayed Susan’s trust. And now I’ve lost her.”