MUM AND DAD . . . I HATE YOU! Jake’s 17th birthday cake does NOT go down well

EVEN on holiday, Mike King’s missus Fiona doesn’t neglect her chores.

But at least when she’s hanging out the washing on the couple’s self-catering break in Lanzarote, she can do it in the BUFF!

Mike said: “When I took the photo, Fi went berserk and said she didn’t have any make up on. But she agreed it was a nice snap and said yes when I asked if I could send it to Sunday Sport.” RIGHT- ON: Alexis and Sebastian TEENAGER Jake Pritchard was horrified when his right- on parents presented him with a birthday cake shaped like a box of man- size KLEENEX.

The popular tissues are supposedly larger than usual because blokes are thought to need extra room for clearing foul ropes of snot from their hooters following a sneeze. Yet it’s commonly assumed that their unspoken, primary purpose is really for dabbing up the puddle that results from a frantic bout of solo hand- refreshment.

Jake’s unique treat from mum Sandra, 53, and dad Geoff, 59, was to be a gentle tease towards the bashful youth, whose gender and age group are notorious for their non- stop wanking.

But he was aghast when they presented it to him with 17 candles ablaze while he sat at the kitchen table with his college pals.

He yelled: “God, I hate SNOT FUNNY: Birthday cake which upset Jake you!” before dashing out with laughter ringing in his ears.

He later approached Sunday Sport to moan about his parents’ behaviour, claiming it was just one of many acts that embarrassed him in front of friends.

Jake, from Heswall, Wirral, said: “They think they’re so down with the kids but it’s a f** king joke.

“I came home with a mate to play XBox last summer only to find them sunbathing naked in the garden.

“It’s bollocks in any case because mum at least certainly knows I don’t use Kleenex. That’s what dad’s socks are for.”

Sunday Sport tried to contact Mr and Mrs Pritchard, but they were out at a garden centre.