IT WAS FAKE NEWS
…But looks like this! Trump PR team insists he never looked like this
FURIOUS White House staff have angrily DENIED last week’s Sunday Sport story that a crash weight loss diet has left President Trump looking like a giant BALLBAG!
Last week Sunday Sport EXCLUSIVELY reported that Trump went on a liquidised kale diet from one of wife Melania’s magazines.
Mr Trump shed so many pounds so quickly, we reported, his skin didn’t have chance to snap back into shape and he was left looking like 1980s Sunday Sport freak Jimmy Wrinkle.
Last night Sunday Sport bosses admitted we had been HOODWINKED and that the story was indeed FAKE NEWS.
To prove that snaps showing the President looking like a huge scrotum are FAKE, Oval Office staffers have released GENUINE snaps of Mr Trump in the gym.
And the authorised pictures show the Commander- in- Chief has the torso of a Greek god and not a body that resembles an OAP’s nutsack.
Linus P Offenbacher, Deputy Head of Fake News ( Rebuttal) from the White House press office contacted us to say: “Your story of May 27 claiming that POTUS ( President of the United States) is disfigured by a crash diet is an egregious falsehood and, not to mince words, ‘ fake news’.
Crude
“While we respect your publication’s First Amendment free speech rights, we must object to this crude vilification of our head of state.
“And while we would never demand that you reveal your sources, we ask you to look again at where this story came from.
“The President has been under sustained attack from disaffected Democrats loyal to the defeated presidential candidate, Hillary Clinton. We should also point out that certain foreign actors have been making mischief in an attempt to destabilise our democracy.
“Please find enclosed some genuine pics of the President during a workout which, we hope, will prove the truth of the situation.”
Last night Sunday Sport’s Head of Future and Ongoing Standards Going Forward, Gary Doran, said that an investigation was under way.
He added: “For the first time in this newspaper’s 32- year history, we have been hoaxed. Measures will be put in place so that, going forward, this sort of thing cannot happen again.”
A full and, frankly, embarrassing apology can be found on page six of today’s paper.