Prof dumps cock size & self-esteem programme

A UNIVERSITY boffin has been forced to abandon a study on the relationship between penis size and self- esteem.

The female professor scrapped it after participants submitted images of cartoon characters, rather than of their genitals.

Alicia Walker, a sociology professor at Missouri State University, appealed for men over the age of 22 to complete an anonymous online survey, measure their penis, and submit a photo to verify its size.

She “had also been conducting qualitative interviews by email or phone”.

She said: “The kind of work I do is not for everybody. These are not sexy pictures. They are clinical images.”

The professor added: “I’ve spoken to men who have been suicidal because of their anxiety and unhappiness with their size or perceived size.

“We need to be talkin g about men’s body dysmorphia, and the way our society worships size and the way that worship impacts men.” A PANINI football sticker missing since the 2006 World Cup has turned up – between a 30- stone beauty’s thighs!

Zoe and Darren Fellowes had just started dating when the Zinedine Zidane sticker went astray.

His Germany ’ 06 album remained incomplete until Darren went down on her at their Hull home, to celebrate Eric Dier’s winning penalty against Columbia last week. GOAL: Darren had all the stickers for his Germany 2006 World Cup Panini album but lost the last one before sticking it in – but now it’s turned up 12 years after his sex romp

Zoe, now 32, said: “We started dating right at the start of the World Cup, which was in Germany that year.

“Darren would have gone to Germany but he was skint as old arseholes back then so many of our first dates were spent watching football on the telly at his flat.

“He wouldn’t lay a finger on me until the final whistle had blown and he’d watched some of the after- match analysis.”

And it was during some post- match coitus that Darren, then just 21, lost his treasured Zinedine Zidane Panini sticker.

Zoe explained: “He’d collected all the stickers and put them all in his album. The last one he needed was Zidane. He’d bought so many packets and had a ton of swapsies.

“Finally he got it and his collection was complete.”

But Darren didn’t put the sticker in the album and, after a night of passion with Zoe, it had disappeared.

Zoe said: “I remember him calling me the next day at work and asking if I’d seen it. I said of course I’d not seen his silly sticker. We argued and almost split up.

“In the end, Darren refused to buy another sticker in 2006. He said it was a point of principle. The daft bastard.”

Daft bastard or not, the couple married – though the issue of the missing Zidane sticker often came up.

Zoe said: “He still blamed me, I could tell. Then, after the England Columbia game, he came up from between my legs with that bloody sticker.

“It must have been in a fold of flab all that time. Darren was over the moon!

“If I hadn’t been a bit tubby, that sticker would have been lost forever.”

Darren, 33, was unable to comment as he was watching the football.”