DON’T TAKE STEROIDS, KIDS!

MOOBY DAZZLER: Stan shows off his huge man boobs WHEN wimpy Stan Groves saw an ad promising big muscles and a He Man- style chest, he didn’t hesitate.

The ex- school crossing supervisor sent £ 200 of postal orders to a PO Box address in Goole and within a week had a month’s supply of his steroid- based wonder drug.

Stan, 54, told Sunday Sport: “There was a lot of writing on the boxes but it was all in Chinese, or something. I saw a skull and crossbones but I thought that must just be a logo.”

The one- time Scout volunteer said: “I took one and nothing happened, so I took another. Still nothing. I thought ‘ Oh bollocks, I’ve been ripped off’.”

But the next morning, Stan noticed something when he woke up in his flat in Leicester.

He said: “My chest was a bit bigger. And it was bigger still, the next day.”

In fact, Stan’s chest grew and grew… and GREW.

Last night he wailed: “After three weeks, I realised I had women’s tits. They’re very nice women’s tits, yes. But they are women’s tits.

“I tried contacting the firm that sold them to me but their phone’s been cut off.

“Now my tits keep on growing. What the hell will become of me?”

Dr Frank Yield of the University of West Lancashire said: “You need to be a bit of a twat to take bodybuilding steroids in the first place.

“But buying them from a PO Box in Goole. What a dick. He deserves all he gets. Daft c** t.”