With 20/20 vision I had a gibble with the bincess up before the governor
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Here’s a selection of our favourites...
n. A bearded clam that maintains a tight grip on a chap’s slag hammer. The opposite of a wizard’s sleeve. Also fanny like an archer’s window, butler’s cuff, mouse’s ear.
1. n. A device applied to excitable puppies in order to apply a degree of control, and thus 2. n. A sports bra.
n. The house’s landline telephone that is only ever called by one’s mother- in- law. n. Reading material that is taken to the lavatory.
1. n. In computers, an architectural style that defines a set of constraints and properties based on HTTP. 2. n. Any sexual activity that aids tranquil response, eg. Handjob, horatio.
n. Like a schlong, shorter. only
1. n. Controversial address denouncing Stalin, made by Nikita Krushchev at the 1956 CPSU party congress. 2. n. A particularly shocking anal announcement delivered behind closed doors in a highly powered committee environment.
n. Germ. Taking pleasure in the certainty that someone who has been making you miserable with their flatulence has just pushed too hard and followed through.
n. That unequalled feeling of relief and joy after dropping the kids off at the pool, after a nail- biting photo finish.
sim. US. Descriptive of performing the act of concubinage with a woman who has a snatch like a builder’s rubble tub.
1. n. Handy feature on modern sat- navs. 2. n. The bipper, the devil’s doorbell, tremble trigger or trouser tonsil.
1. n. Area consisting of the 29 most northerly counties of the Lone Star State. 2. n. A bigger than normal erection you feel the need to boast about.
euph. Overly optimistic visual appreciation of the opposite sex following an excessive intake of the eponymous, fruity, fortified wine. Fashionable beer goggles as prescribed by an alcopoptician.
euph. ‘ How did your night out go with that bird from behind the bar at the Feathers, grandad?’ ‘ Smashing. I had her back at mine and up before the governor before lights out at eleven.’
n. Feminine version of mansplaining. Continuing to go on about a poor fellow’s failings despite the fact that he is not particularly interested, clearly no longer listening, or asleep.
n. Perverse watersports variation in which the young lady sits upon her partner’s face and then proceeds to piss her scads.
n. Any low quality tattoo shop where the design of the shopfront fails to fill one with confidence as regards the proprietor’s true artistic abilities.
n. An espe cially thunderous queef.