GOOLE BABE PULLS FORD FOCUS WITH HER MINGE

WORLD- BEATING STRONGWOMAN FEAT

STURDY Kerry “Crackertwat” Delaney has the strongest genitals in all of Goole.

And she proved it last week by pulling a FORD FOCUS more than 100 yards… with her MINGE!

The 23- year- old East Yorks Bare Knuckle Boxing Champion sensationally won a £ 1,000 bet after she managed to tug the five- door family hatchback with her powerful pissflaps.

Kelly last night told Sunday Sport: “Me cousin Mikey he says I can’t pull a car with my fanny. So I says, ‘ Oh yes I can, you dog!’

“And he says, ‘ No you f** kin’ can’t’.

“So I tells him, ‘ I say WHAT could be better on a Sunday morning than a greasy fry- up in a proper caff?

Having your missus flop her tits out while you’re waiting for it, that’s what!

Jane Thomas, 30, gave hungover hubby Pete a lift last week as they waited for their bacon and eggs in Milton Keynes.

Pete, 32, said: “It was a real tonic. So I gave Jane my sausage!”

Would you like to see your sexy pic in Email – we’ll reply straight back. I can, you dog and I’ll bet you for it’.

“And so he takes the bet. And it’s a cash bet, sir.

“So I says cousin Tommy, a car’.

“And he gets us a car. A Ford it is.

“And I pulls that car with a rope held in my twat.

“I did it… and I won a £ 1,000!

“And that’s a lot of the gold.

“But my pa give me a to my ‘ Get us thick ear for bringing shame on the family.

“But £ 1,000 is £ 1,000. So that’s OK.

“I shall buy a new dog, I reckon.”

A spokesman for the world- famous Guinness Book of Records last night said there was “no record” for pulling a Ford Focus with the genitals and there “… isn’t likely to be. Not in the Guinness Book, anyway.”