SHIT HITS THE FAN

Killer diarrhoea bug spread by cooling systems

A MUTANT strain of the winter vomiting bug that thrives in the summer months is cutting a swathe through Brits.

Thousands have been struck down by the sickness- and- shitting virus and are trapped in the toilet while others enjoy temperatures nudging 100 degrees.

And there are fears that the highly- contagious bug is being wafted around factories and offices by FANS, which are going full pelt to keep workers cool.

A source said: “Fans may keep you cool but they – and air conditioning – circulate bugs like you would not believe.”

Public Health England data shows 780 people have caught norovirus since May, when the UK first began to bask in the heat.

Iceberg

But that could be the tip of a shitty iceberg.

Experts claim the true number is likely to be in the thousands, as PHE data is based only on confirmed laboratory reports from people who have visited their doctor.

Reports are now emerging of ‘ unusually high’ numbers of people battling both diarrhoea and vomiting – even though officials insist it is not norovirus.

But if the notorious shit- plague has mutated, it could lead to a tsunami of vomit and diarrhoea when the cold weather hits.

Medics advise that anyone with suspected norovirus should stay away from their doctor’s surgery unless symptoms last for more than three days or there is blood in their plop.

The highly- contagious illness can KILL vulnerable folk, experts warn.