Serial bus w* nker has ban tossed out

A MAN banned from buses for “habitual masturbation” has had the ban lifted – as it violates his “human rights”!

The unnamed perv, from the West Midlands, was sentenced to two years’ probation after admitting 14 counts of outraging public decency by furiously masturbating while riding bus routes in the city.

As part of his probation, the 37- year- old – dubbed the Tipton Tosser at the height of his reign of terror – was banned from using any form of public transport in the United Kingdom.

But High Court judges have now agreed that the ban breaches his human rights on freedom of association.

His case will now return to Crown Court for resentencing. THE wretched practice of shoving voles up one’s arse has been carried out for centuries – albeit discreetly – by perverts around the world.

But times change and, as we are expected to understand more and condemn less, antics that were once hidden from polite society are now tolerated and even celebrated.

And now, astonishingly, there is even an AWARD for getting the most live voles up your bottom.

The winner of the inaugural award was last night unveiled as Luton finance broker Paul Hereford. the Society’s Rules

Posing with a certificate and Articles of Association.” trophy given by the shadowy Last night Hereford’s home British Man- Vole Physical was a deserted, burned- out Appreciation Society, Hereford shell after an apparent arson is pictured alongside a caption attack by pro- vole extremists. stating that he inserted His current whereabouts SEVEN voles into his rectum. are unknown.

The write- up continues: Harrison Jones, chair of the “Paul’s magnificent feat was European Vole Foundation, witnessed by three members of condemned the arson on the British Man- Vole Physical Hereford’s bungalow but Appreciation Society, as per added: “Voles across Europe A TEACHER accused of sucking off a teen student in a cupboard denied the allegations against her in court.

Jill Lamontagne ( left) repeatedly told the jury she never kissed or had any sexual relations with the 17- year- old.

She also testified she never gave the lad her mobile phone and are suffering terribly. Thanks to climate change, habitat loss and predation by mink.

“The last thing this creature needs is being shoved up some pervert’s back passage.”

Last night a legal source said that the vole is a protected species under the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981.

We have passed a dossier to the relevant authorities. number or social media accounts.

The defendant’s husband, Steven Lamontagne, told prosecutors he trusts his wife and said she was a teacher trying to help a student.

The victim testified last week he and Lamontagne had oral sex in a closet in her portable classroom and at her home in West Kennebunk, Maine.

He also testified the two had briefly engaged in sexual intercourse during a second encounter at her home, but he told the jury they stopped when she said, ‘ We can’t do this until you graduate’.

The case continues.