Why should this madness ruin my morning shit?

THERE is, to be honest, little on God’s lovely earth to beat a good, satisfying shit.

And, such a shit at work is doubly satisfying. Not only are you having a cracking dump, you’re doing it on the boss’s time and using his toilet paper, too.

But now that small fragment of delight in our otherwise bleak existence is under threat.

Thanks, as you can imagine, to political correctness.

The latest craze is towards “gender neutral” toilets.

Have you ever heard such a load of spectacular bollocks?

Since human beings stopped shitting in the street, public lavs have been separated into ladies and gents, much like the entire human race is divided into ladies and gents.

There are very good reasons for this.

Could you really enjoy a good shit – you know, one that sounds like a flock of f** king starlings taking off – if you thought that a lady was in the next trap?

And women, quite reasonably, don’t want men in their lavvies. First of all, our toilet habits can offend the ladies ( see above). Also, effectively letting men into women’s toilets is giving the green light to every slavering pervert in the parish.

This latest PC fad – brought in to placate a handful of mouthy “trans” activists – is causing chaos.

Women have been avoiding new £ 36,000 gender- neutral lavatories at the Home Office because men are leaving their cubicle doors open while they’re inside.

A notice has been placed outside the unisex toilets reading: “Women are finding use of the toilets quite distressing and are not using these toilets as a result.”

Toilets that are not used are not fit for purpose and are therefore a waste of money – OUR MONEY!

Because of the strident yelping of some monomaniac “trans” agitators, the rest of us have to live in a world doesn’t work quite so well.

That’s NOT f** king progress, whatever some dopey bird called Derek writes in The Guardian.

When you take this madness to its illogical conclusion, you put a man who claims he’s a woman into a woman’s prison and… well, you know what happens next.

This “trans” lunacy is more than just an inconvenient intrusion into our shit- time... it’s getting downright dangerous!