BELLENDS & COCO POPS MIX Man pulled pud as majorettes twirled batons

Mike’s bitter warning

1 Country House Blur ( above) 2 Roll With It Oasis 3 You Are Not Alone – Michael Jackson 4 I Luv U Baby – Original 5 The Sunshine After The Rain – Berri 6 I’ll Be There For You – Rembrandts 7 Waterfalls – TLC 8 Never Forget – Take That 9 Hideaway De’Lacy 10 Everybody – Clock ( below) – – – 1 Mortal Kombat ( above) 2 Desperado 3 Dangerous Minds 4 A Walk in the Clouds 5 Lord of Illusion 6 Babe 7 Something to Talk About 8 Waterworld 9 Apollo 13 10 The Net ( below) WHAT would happen if I put Coco Pops down my Jap’s Eye?

That unlikely question popped into the head of curious Mike Pritchard four weeks ago.

And, unfortunately, the 43- year- old unemployed warehouseman decided to find out – and shoved 14 pieces of the choc- coated rice cereal down his piss slit.

As a result, single Mike, from Budleigh Salterton, Devon, developed an infection that almost cost him his pride and joy.

Now finished his course of antibiotics and out of danger, Mike said: “I thought they would piss out, but a couple got stuck and sort of went mouldy.

“I fainted with pain in the High Street and was rushed to hospital, where they cleaned up my urethra.

“They said if I’d left it any longer, they might have had to take my winkie off.

“Maybe they were trying to frighten me, but all I can say to anyone reading this is: Bellends and Coco Pops don’t mix!” THE babe now standing at platform two is… showing her boobs off!

Mike Grant snapped 23- year- old girlfriend Jenny Cope flashing her busters after a day out in Blackpool.

He told “You don’t get much better than that – a day out in Blackpool and your bird flashing her busters at Blackpool North railway station. What a gal!”

Would you like to see your sexy pic in

Email – we’ll reply straight back. OUCH! Mike DIRTY Ronald Jones was charged with “lewd and lascivious behaviour” after he was spotted furiously masturbating while watching a baton- twirling group practising.

The majorettes were running through their stick- chucking routine in the car park of an abandoned petrol station when their leader noticed Jones “skulking” nearby.

After several minutes, it was noticed that Jones was “inappropriately touching himself”, which later developed into full- blown masturbation.

Two of the baton twirlers yelled at 38- yearold Jones and he fled.

But the victims described him to cops and he was picked up later in nearby Pensacola, Florida.

Jones was booked into the Escambia County Jail.