Charlie’s cod war! FISH FAN’S NO-DEAL BREXIT PLAN IS STINKER

CHARLIE Foster says he’s well prepared for a ‘ No Deal’ Brexit – as he’s stockpiled almost HALF A TON of his favourite fish.

The 63- year- old said while millions are expected to starve, thanks to a naval stranglehold imposed on the UK in the event of ‘ No Deal’, he’ll be feasting on tasty tucker.

Charlie – a Remain voter – beamed: “When I read in the paper that Britain was heading for ‘ No Deal’, I decided to act fast.

“In a few weeks the supermarkets will be full of rioters and looters all scrapping over the last tin of ravioli.

“Not me. I hate ravioli. I like fish and I’ve got enough to last for months. I’ve got it everywhere – in the fridge, the freezer, cupboards and even a bedroom wardrobe.

“I also got some shelving from Lidl which I’ve put in the loft and filled with lovely fish.

But the twice- divorced former IT specialist’s preparedness has not impressed neighbours in Billingham, Teesside, who say the STENCH of his slowly- decaying hoard is making their lives a misery – and is starting to attract vermin.

One local, who asked not to be named for fear of reprisals, said: “The twat’s a f** king lunatic!

“The whole street smells like a Romanian whore’s gusset.”

Now the local council is poised to serve an enforcement notice, with a spokesman saying: “A resident has been spoken to about the fish situation. There are certain health and hygiene considerations.”