MONKEY BUMMED BY GHOST OF JACKO IS HOOKED ON INTERNET BINGO

‘He’s ran up huge gambling debts because of that bastard’s bumming ghost’

WHEN he was alive, pop paedophile Michael Jackson preyed on young boys.

In death, his ghost took to bumming innocent little monkeys.

And today, we can report the very real cost to his simian victims’ mental health.

For monkey fan Steve Gibson’s primate pal Lucius has been reduced to a gibbering wreck, hopelessly addicted to online bingo.

Steve bought Lucius from a traveller four years ago and spent months ridding the macaque of his viler habits.

But after being bummed up his little monkey arse by the unquiet spirit of Jackson, Lucius was a changed creature.

Steve, of Leek, Staffs, shuddered: “I’d read in Sunday Sport that there were cases of monkeys in captivity being bummed by Michael Jackson’s ghost.

“But I never thought it would happen to my poor Lucius.

“One night it did and it changed him – forever. First he was just quiet and went off his bananas but then I found he was secretly playing online bingo – for cash.

“Obviously, being a monkey, he had no money of his own so he ran up huge debts in my name. I’ve bailed him out three times now to the tune of more than £ 80 a pop.

“That’s a huge amount for a ruddy monkey.

“Naturally, I’m angry but I don’t blame Lucius. He’s only become addicted to online bingo because the ghost of Michael Jackson bummed him.

“Dead of not, I hate that bastard Jackson and all those mad fans who defend him are metaphorically bumming my little Lucius all over again.

“The sick f** kers.” HAPPIER TIMES: Steve with Lucius MONKEY BUMMER: Jacko and his pet chimp Bubbles

In 2013, Sunday Sport was the first British newspaper to report news that the ghost of Thriller nonce Jackson was bumming monkeys.

We told how the hit parade pervert’s spirit had bummed a monkey belonging to Brian Clowes, of Crewe, Cheshire. ADDICT: Lucius has been bailed out by owner