BORIS ATE THERESA MAY’S GOLDFISH IN DRUNKEN BET
HORROR AT PM’S No10 HOUSEWARMING PARTY
BUNGLING Boris Johnson accidentally ATE a goldfish that had been kept at 10 Downing Street by Theresa May hours after becoming Prime Minister.
Boris, 55, became PM last month following the resignation of his embattled predecessor and, after moving his stuff into the famous address, invited a “few chums” round for a celebratory drink.
It’s thought that at least some of the “chums” were former members of the Oxford University Bullingdon Club – the notorious drinking society of which Boris was once a member.
A Number 10 source said: “Boris was like a dog with two dicks after moving into Downing Street.
“It was, after all, the thing he’d been dreaming of since he was a little boy.
“He went and slid down the bannisters like Dennis the Menace and then got on the phone and invited some pals round for a drink and a curry.
Boisterous
“As you can imagine, it got a bit boisterous, and at one point Boris grabbed a goldfish from its bowl on the side table.
“The goldfish had been presented to Theresa May by the Japanese PM but she had to leave it behind.
“Boris was only skylarking and was dangling the fish above his mouth – then he dropped it and the fish went straight down his throat.
“There was general uproar, with Boris’s pals guffawing, slapping their thighs and saying, ‘ Bloody good jape, BoJo… what?’ and posh stuff like that.
“Boris was actually quite upset as he’s been told by the Cabinet Office if he breaks any government property with his high jinks, the cost is coming out of his wages – and that poor goldfish was technically government property.
“Everyone was sworn to secrecy because the last thing Boris needs right now is trouble from the goldfish rights brigade.”
As well as gulping goldfish, Mr Johnson has also been busy on a whistle- stop tour of the UK attempting to convince leaders in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland that he knows what he’s doing.