BREXIT RIOT AT TORY SEX PARTY
2AM LATEST: FIVE ARRESTED
A TORY party sex orgy ended in a punch- up and five arrests when divisions emerged between Brexiteers and Remainers.
Conservative sex people formed a WhatsApp group after the last party conference to “heal the differences” between pro- EU members and Eurosceptics.
It was formed with the mission statement, “Where Conservatives Come Together” and has met three times so far.
Cummings
But the event at a Manchester hotel last night ended in violence as seething differences burst out.
One attendee at the event – who asked not to be named for fear of reprisals from Boris Johnson’s feared chief of staff Dominic Cummings – said: “It was all going so well until a chap who supports Brexit bummed some Remain filly up the ringpiece.
“He said something like ‘ Oh, you Re- MOANER birds like being shafted up the arse, don’t you?’
“Anyway, that made her clench and he screamed – and it all kicked off from there.
“There were Remainers and Brexiteers at each other’s throats – all naked and some still engorged.
“Naturally, the hotel management called the authorities and about seven chaps were nicked.
“It’s a bad show when the Tory Party can’t even organise an orgy without it going tits- up.”
A spokesman for the hotel – which we are unable to name for legal reasons – said: “It was a private party and we will not be commenting on the matter.”
A spokesman for Boris Johnson said: “The PM is furious… that he wasn’t invited.”