PLUS: OUR WORLD FAMOUS AGONY COLUMN

Dear Tess,

I’M a 36- year- old divorcee and I was enjoying a drink in a country pub when a strapping fella came in.

He was a young farmer who breeds Herefords and when I showed an interest he took me to see his herd and the bulls.

I was gobsmacked by the size of the bulls’ knackers and he could not stop laughing at my reaction. We sat down on a bale of hay in an outbuilding and ended up snogging as he fondled my breasts.

I found out he had a huge penis and he soon had it thrusting in and out of my plump pussy.

After we were both satisfied, we arranged to meet in the pub the next day, but he never came. Am I wasting my time pining for him?

MC, Shropshire

Tess says…

HE was obviously a young bull on the pull. Forget him.

Dear Tess,

I WORK as a gardener for a wealthy family who live in a large mansion. The owner has a formidable wife, who we call “the duchess”.

She slips into her study every morning and draws the curtains. One morning I peered through a chink in the drapes and got a shock.

The duchess was lying stark naked across a big oak desk with her Swedish au pair standing over her grasping a large courgette, which she slid inside her pussy.

She pleasured her for a full 10 minutes before her ladyship let out a loud moan of satisfaction.

Now I am wondering whether to offer the au pair my services. And I wouldn’t need a courgette, because I have a ready- made nine- incher.

RD, Berks

Tess says…

CAREFUL. You’ll be in the soup if the duchess finds out. DO YOU HAVE A SEX PROBLEM? email: agony@sundaysport.co.uk Mail: Agony, Sunday Sport, 860 Chester Road, Stretford, Manchester M32 0QJ