BREXIT WILL COST YOU £6.37 TO DO A POO
PROJECT FEAR LATEST
LEAVING the EU will lead to Brits having to shell out £ 6.37 every time they want to PLOP, a think- tank boss warned last night.
THE aim of Project Fear is to make the British public SHIT themselves at the prospect of leaving the European Union.
But the latest wheeze by hard Remainians is to claim that if Britain crashed out of the EU without a deal, Brits will have to pay the equivalent of £ 6.37 every time they take a dump.
Bombing
With EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier still hammering out the details of our departure and German Chancellor Angela Merkel demanding that Britain APOLOGISE for the wartime bombing of Berlin before any deal is signed, Brexit may still not happen.
And clutching at that particular straw, Remainer diehards – said to be funded by shadowy international money men – have come up with what’s now known as the ‘ Plop Tax’.
The formula is based on research by pro- EU academic Dr Jenson King of the University of West Lancashire, who claims that exiting the EU’s water- quality regime will cost Britain a fortune.
Filth
Dr King warned: “If Britain crashes out of the EU with no deal the water quality will collapse to pre- Victorian levels of filth.
“That will need to be eventually put right and will cost a fortune for every family. There will eventually be a charge on just having a poo.
“I have estimated that it will cost £ 6.37 per motion. That’s yet another cost of leaving the EU – which wasn’t on the side of Boris’s bus either!”
Last night a source at the Department of the Environment said Dr King’s figures, “were a stretch, at best.”