IDIOT LAUNCHED ROCKET FROM HIS WILLY
IT seemed the perfect pre- Bonfire Night prank – launching a firework from a fella’s most intimate part.
But for Graham Foster, launching a rocket from the tender slit of his chap’s eye would have devastating consequences.
For the self- employed plumber, 21, had unknowingly pushed the firework’s wooden stick too deeply into his urethra
– the tube in the penis that a gentleman passes wee through – meaning the device was unwittingly firmly wedged.
Single Graham, from Wrexham, North Wales, explained: “Me and the lads always get together when Halloween and Bonfire Night come around and this year was no different – well, to start with, anyway.
“We shared a few beers, and then a few more, and then someone suggested getting the sparklers out, so we would all write swear words and stuff.
“But we’d clearly had a beer too many because then we started daring each other to up the ante and do stuff with fireworks.
Pain
“I drew a short straw and had to try to launch a rocket from my bellend and like an idiot I gave it a go. I fished my cock out – in its flaccid state, mind – and slipped the stick of the rocket into my chap’s eye.
“Then I lit the blue touch paper and waited for the rocket to whizz off to the other end of the garden.
“But the fuse burned down really quickly and then the bottom of the rocket itself started burning. I was about to grab it and throw it away when it exploded. The noise of the rocket was deafening, and the pain was immense.
“One of the guys reached out and swatted it away but the damage was done. My bellend was gone and blood was everywhere.
“I fainted at the sight of the carnage and woke up in hospital.
“Doctors say they’ll have to amputate my entire cock and give me a prosthetic one.
“So to anyone reading this, here’s my sincere advice – do NOT f** k about with fireworks!”