Sunday Sport

The Ku Klux nan had a docker’s knuckle that left me bone-weary

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Here’s a selection of our favourites...

n. Gut- smashing, but done inelegantl­y or inexpertly, if you can imagine such a thing.

euph. How one would sign off a work email to any member of management, or a colleague for whom one has no respect. F** k off.

n. An otherwise outwardly benign grandparen­t who suddenly launches into an extended, extreme right- wing diatribe.

n. An extreme method of pleasing one’s lady. Named in honour of the Latter Day Saints’ fondness for large families. Consisting of “two in the front” ( fingers/ fanny) and five in the back ( fist/ arse).

n. A ringpiece that is a continual source of worry for environmen­talists.

n. A widely spread area of feminine anatomy that exudes a distinct piscatoria­l aroma. A stamped bat.

n. Any residentia­l community in Cheshire blessed with beauty salons offering lip injectable­s. n. An erectiviti­ation that is covered in faecal matter. v. To take a shit into an unflushed bog, like what Smokey Robinson sang about. n. medic. The alarming of one suffering the f** king good kicking. sim. Descriptiv­e of performing an ultimately futile act. For example, sending a tweet to Southern Rail asking why their service is so terrible, which will get lost in an ocean of identical questions. symptoms effects of a

n. The typical staining on a gentleman’s pickle after it is withdrawn from the rusty sheriff’s badge.

sim. US. Said of something that looks like it could handle itself in a barney, or like it would take a bit of chewing.

sim. A measure of the extreme avidity with which a randy young chap performs cumulonimb­us on his significan­t other.

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