NO, MY NAME IS SANITISER! Fed-up German is sick of calls from panicking germ-dodgers

A BLAMELESS German man is taking calls morning, noon and night from panicking folk desperate to get hold of anti- viral gel…

Because his name is HANS SANITISER!

Carpenter Hans, 58, from Regensburg, Bavaria, says that he has been fielding calls from all over the world as people believe he supplies the gold- dust gel.

Recently- divorced Hans said: “In my line of work, I am needing to concentrate very hard as I use the very sharp tools.

“How am I able to be doing this when my telephone is ringing – RING- RING – all of the time?

“The people they ask me, ‘ Hello? I want the hand sanitiser!’

“I say, ‘ No, my

HANS Sanitiser!’ name is

“At first I try to be polite and say ‘ Is OK – anyone is making mistake.

“I am a German. We have made the odd mistake over the years – HA- HA!’

“But some people they get cross and say ‘ You have the hand sanitiser and you are hoarding it!’

“They shout, they swear. They call me ‘ Dirty f- word Hun’ and ‘ filthy square- head Kraut’ and they shout ‘ Who win the f- wording war?’ and something about World Cup.

“And this is very hurtful for me, and is hurtful for all the German people.

“I have no hand sanitiser. I use soap and hot water to wash my hands to keep away the coronavirus.

“In Germany we wash hands many times. We are clean people.”

Hans explained that he cannot change his telephone number as it’s printed on all his promotional material and would cost a small fortune to change.

He says: “I am hoping that this will all, how you say? ‘ blow over’.”

When the coronavirus first hit, hand sanitiser became the number one panic- bought item and shop shelves were soon stripped bare, along with vast mountains of toilet rolls.

Supplies have still not returned to normal and most retailers have placed strict

HURTFUL: Hans says calls have been very abusive restrictions on purchases of the scarce substance.

Authorities have insisted that washing hands with hot water and ordinary soap remains the best defence against the Chinese death plague.