I’VE MADE COVID-19 CURE FROM VIMTO AND MYPISS READER PIC

Oh Mai, what a nice mimsy you have…

THERE’S nothing in the Government’s guidelines that says you can’t flash your boobs and your FANNY while out on your daily exercise walk.

So sexy Mai Henderson did just that while strolling with hubby Geoff near their home in Crewe, Cheshire.

Mai said: “I hope my parts cheer up people stuck in lockdown!”

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WHEN coronavirus started its deadly march across the world from a Chinese filth market, Doug Watson knew humanity was in for a crisis of massive proportions.

So the retired process worker took to his shed and put 40 years of science- based grafting to good use.

Now, more than a month into lockdown, the plucky widower, of Middlewich in Cheshire, reckons he’s found a CURE for COVID- 19 – made from VIMTO and his own PISS!

Doug told Sunday Sport: “I used to work at ICI and in my dinner breaks I’d go up to the labs and hang about with the scientists.

“Most of what they said and did I didn’t understand at first, but bit by bit I caught on and became something of an expert on science.

“In fact, at my local they called me ‘ Doug the

Boring Twat’ because I was always going on about science and that.”

He said after reading about coronavirus he became convinced that the sugary goodness of popular cordial Vimto combined with the acrid properties of stale urine would ward it off.

He said: “I got my old winemaking demijohns and started brewing up an anti- viral mixture.

“There was a lot of trial and error at first but last Tuesday I had a smell of the latest batch and thought ‘ This is it!’

DISCOVERY: Doug with his demijohns and ( the killer coronavirus

“I had a sip – it was ruddy awful, if I’m being honest – but since then, I’ve not caught the coronavirus once.

“How much proof do you need?!”

Doug said that he tried to phone the UK’s top scientist, Sir Patrick Vallance, to pass on news of his game- changing discovery but has so far been rebuffed.

He shrugged: “I know that Sir Patrick is very busy at the moment and probably has all manner of people coming to him with quack cures.

“But mine works and I’m living proof of that!”