SAVE ME, SAYS 5G ( THE RAPPER THEY WANT TO BATTER!)

AN up- and- coming rap star says his days are numbered – because he’s called 5G!

Talented 5G, from Manchester, came up with the name five years ago when he set out on the path to stardom.

But now he reckons his stage name has made him a marked man as conspiracy theorists go about attacking the 5G mobile phone network in the deranged belief it spreads coronavirus.

5G – real name Colin Broadstairs – said: “I’ve been at this rapping game for five years now and apart from a gig at my nan’s day centre, I’ve struggled to get anywhere.

“I rock a retro Soviet groove but to be honest, apart from my nan, who I live with, my mum and my sister, nobody had heard of me.

“Then all this hoo- ha erupted about the Chinese pumping the coronavirus through the 5G network.

“I thought, ‘ This is it! I’ll be famous! My stage name is now really dangerous!’ It was like being called AK47 or monkey pox.”

But it did not quite work out like that.

5G said: “The hysteria grew and then I read that people had actually been attacking 5G masts and other hardware. I thought ‘ Ooo- er!’ and I started to worry that people could try and set fire to me!”

And after TV presenter Eamonn Holmes’s lent credence to the insane 5G conspiracy theories, the rap star reckons his death warrant is now all but signed.

He said: “Holmes, by effectively throwing petrol on the whole 5G row, could well have signed my death warrant. I know he’s being investigated by broadcasting authorities for his comments but now I fear for my life!

“I need police protection!”

SHITTING PANTS: Rapper 5G