OCH AYE THE POO!
Scottish lockdown village keeps out visitors by pelting them with DOG DIRT
THE far north of Scotland would seem to be the ideal place to get away from the swirling clouds of Chinese Death Virus in Britain’s towns and cities.
The crystal- clear air, the sparkling, life- giving waters and the wide open spaces are just the things to ward off contagion.
And locals want to keep it that way!
Residents of several remote villages in the Highlands have erected signs warning outsiders to keep out – and keep their filthy germs away.
But in Glenhoots, Sutherland, they’re going even further and are pelting incomers with DOG SHIT to drive them away!
In scenes not seen in mainland Britain since the Middle Ages, locals have formed themselves into vigilante groups to keep an eye out for approaching visitors.
Anyone who gets too close faces a barrage of abuse – and if that doesn’t work, the plop bombardment starts.
The shitty trick is the brainchild of Glenhoots resident and councillor Duncan Campbell. Filth
He stormed: “There’s no virus in Glenhoots and that’s the way we want it to stay.
“There’s people who come up here – all the way from Glasgow or Perth, or even London bringing their dirty plagues with them.
“We tried reasoning with them. We only started throwing dog mess as a last resort.”
It certainly does – because since the locals started throwing the filth, there have been NO coronavirus cases in Glenhoots.
Other villages in remote areas of Scotland are taking similar – if lass drastic – measures.
In the Lochaber community of Applecross, residents have placed a large notice along the famous Bealach na Bà road, part of the North Coast 500 route.
It reads: “Attention Visitors! Businesses are closed in Applecross. No food/ drink available. Public toilets locked. No facilities. Community isolating - please respect.”
In nearby Lochcarron a dummy holds up a home- made sign asking visitors to go home, while further north, locals in John O’Groats, Caithness, have placed hay bales to block off the car park at the popular photo spot.