I’ll end up with lockdown lockjaw

BUSINESS SO GOOD FOR DOMINIQUE CUMMINGS DWARF BLOWJOB SEX QUEEN THAT SHE FEARS…

BIG BUSINESS: Tiny Dominique gives good head

WHILE Boris Johnson probably can’t wait to see the end of the row surrounding his lockdown- busting puppet master Dominic Cummings, one person is lapping it all up – quite literally!

For itty- bitty working girl Dominque Cummings has never been busier and every headline that bashes her doppelganger is money in the bank.

The three- foot- seven babe – whose real name is Vera Dwight – said: “Until this blew up, looking like Dominic Cummings was not exactly a good thing, work- wise.

“I had to graft really

hard to

Stay home… protect the NHS… suck my Johnson! build up my client base and I’m credited with giving the best blowjob in the north of England.”

But then it was revealed that No. 10 strategist Cummings made a trip to County Durham while his wife was suffering from coronavirus – in clear breach of the Government guidelines in the UK which he’d played a huge part in laying down.

Dominique, who hails from Bishop Auckland – roughly halfway between Durham City and Barnard Castle where Cummings drove to test his eyesight – said: “I knew straight away I was quids in.

“I changed my name and put some new ads online.

“And I tell you what, the phone has been ringing non- stop!

“I’ve given so many blowjobs recently that

CUMMINGS AND GOINGS: Government strategist

I think I might well end up with lockdown lockjaw!

“I know that me working is not strictly in line with UK lockdown rules.

“But I tell you this – if Dominic Cummings can break the lockdown, then so can I!”

Last night a No. 10 source said: “Oh my God! That’s amazing! Can you send a picture – we’ll pin it up in the staff kitchen.

“Oh, that’s priceless. Cummings will blow an absolute bloody gasket.”

On Monday, Dominic Cummings faced the Press where he explained that he had driven from his London home to his parents’ farm in Durham, as he and his wife feared they would be unable to care for their child if both of them fell ill with coronavirus.

Mr Cummings also told the Press that while they were staying in Durham, he drove his family to Barnard Castle as he feared he’d been struck blind by the bug.