CORBYN TRIBUTE ACT LIVES IN BOTTLE BANK
WORK DRIES UP FOR JEZZA LOOKALIKE
LOCKDOWN has proved unexpectedly bountiful for homeless Keith Braddick.
The 68- year- old itinerant, who bears an uncanny likeness to deposed former Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, has been taking advantage of what readers of The Guardian call “the new normal”.
Since March, the only form of self- isolation Keith has attained has been within a smelly bottle bank in Bournemouth.
Luckily for Keith, it is also where bored local residents drinking themselves to death during the coronavirus pandemic have been queuing up, with appropriate social distancing, to dump their sorry empties.
“But it’s been great,” said
Keith. “People are so drunk, they’re leaving loads in the bottles, so I’m cleaning up.
“Only this morning I was able to tuck into a liquid breakfast of mixed red and white vino dregs, a glug of Kalhua, a half- can of Gold Label barley wine and a throatful of cheap cider.”
But man cannot live on booze alone – and Keith has an unexpected benefactor keeping him topped up with lumpy stuff.
For none other than former Sunday Sport columnist and England star Paul Gascoigne, who also lives in Bournemouth, has been taking care of him.
Former geography teacher Keith told Sunday Sport: “I’ve
had Gazza down here feeding me bread through the wine bottle holes. He says he doesn’t want to see me go without.
“Thing is, no matter how many times I tell him my name is Keith, he keeps insisting on calling me Wor Jezza. He actually thinks I’m Corbyn.
“I know we both look like we’ve been pulled through a hedge backwards, and neither of us has really achieved anything in life, and if it was anyone but Gazza I’d put him straight.
“As it is, he’s my favourite footballer of all time, so I’ll not have a bad word said about him.”
Gazza, 53, has suffered from addiction and mental problems since retiring from the beautiful game, while Corbyn, 71, stepped down as Labour leader after his general election drubbing.