MY SEX ACT IN PRIMARK QUEUE
WHEN Mel Stanford ran out of fresh knickers, desperate times called for desperate measures.
The 45- year- old furloughed barmaid had grown fed up with having to wash and rewash her ageing undercrackers while the shops were closed due to coronavirus.
So when her local Primark store in Birkenhead, Wirral, finally announced plans to open its doors again last Monday morning, she shrieked with joy.
She said: “I was made up. I could finally bin the pairs of knickers with stretched elastic and the ones that were going grey. They looked terrible on the washing line.”
But what she hadn’t considered was the entire nation’s desire to get inside the doors of one of Britain’s biggest cut- price fashion chains.
“It wasn’t opening until nine o’clock so
I went up there a couple of hours earlier with a flask of tea and a decent fleece, just in case there were queues,” she said.
“And of course, when I got there, there was a massive bloody queue stretching round the block.
“I was looking despairingly at it when one fella already in line asked if I wanted to jump in.
“No- one seemed to be taking any notice so I agreed and slipped in front of him.
“Then he said with a wink that I could thank him later, and seeing as I would’ve been at least another hour standing in that queue otherwise, I laughed and said yes.”
When she finally go into the store Mel was able to purchase a pack of six of clean white panties and a pyjama set before linking up with her handsome knight in shining armour once back outside.
She said: “I led him round the corner to the side of the closed Garrick Snug pub, pulled his todger out and gave him a quick blowjob, which he really enjoyed.
“It was the least I could do in return for having fresh underwear after months of wearing old togs.
“And it means I have even more reason to visit Primark than just my rotten knickers!”