Sunday Sport

THE CITY’S NOT JUST FAMOUS FOR FOOTBA

ALEXA GRACE HELEN PEARSON LORI BUCKBY JOSETTE SIMON

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LAST night England returned to doing what it does best – drinking too much, vomiting and falling into gutters.

After three long months of being shuttered, the country’s pubs reopened to a national sigh of relief.

The devolved authoritie­s of Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland are making their own arrangemen­ts for reopening hostelries.

But for England, Saturday was Independen­ce Day and that freedom was marked with the sort of joyfilled merrymakin­g, drink-sodden glee and random violence for which the country is so rightly proud.

It has been too long since we have seen a fat girl sobbing into a kebab while oblivious to the fact that she has soiled herself.

For too long we have been denied the simple pleasure of watching a yob emerge sniffing from the toilet to set upon the first unfortunat­e to catch his madly-staring eyes.

How we have missed wading ankle-deep through sick, blood and broken glass on a Sunday morning!

We may no longer be an imperial power.

Our great factories may have been torn down to be replaced with “call-centres” staffed by perfumed prancers called Toby and Josh.

Our entire economy may very well be propped up by the shady machinatio­ns of dubious finance and foreign criminals.

THE more extreme warriors of the culture wars have to be a cause for national concern.

Today, Sunday Sport reports that one unfortunat­e cross-dresser has taken exception to TRANS-Pennine Trains.

Who are these people? Where are they from? fave Alexa Grace, 27, is another famous Leicester resident.

The 30F cracker says she was inspired to become a model by glamour icon Lana Cox – who is also from Leicester!

HELEN was born on November 16, 1959, in Leicester.

She has been in three major soap operas –

( in 1990 as April McIntosh),

( from 2000 to 2001 as Carol Wareing), and as Frankie Osborne in ( from 2002 until 2017).

According to the respected website

she gave us a flash in the 2013 movie

– also known as

LUSCIOUS Lori was born on May 16, 1985, in Leicester.

The 34C cracker is a regular in

LEICESTER babe Josette Simon appeared topless in the 1991 TV movie

– which also starred

Pete Postlethwa­ite.

Pete was not from Leicester – he was from the equally glamorous Warrington.

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