ON SUNDAY

DEANO

I ALWAYS thought that the most offensive thing about Red Bull was the taste.

I remember an enthusiastic little chap coming to our college bar, which I was running for a time, peddling the stuff in the mid- 90s. He gave me a free can.

I gave it back. Revolting. Anyway, it turns out that the most offensive thing about Red Bull is not its taste, it’s a slide shown at a Red Bull marketing presentation in Detroit back in February.

The slide showed a world map that illustrated world stereotypes through American eyes.

It was a pale imitation of the Tory Atlas of the World from the 1985 Spitting Image book. ( Look it up. Funny.)

On the Red Bull map America was marked: “We’re number 1!” while Canada was “uninhabited”.

The Middle East and South- East Asia were marked as “evil doers”, continental Europe as “pussies”, and South America as “coffee comes from here, I think”.

Mexico was marked “they do our laundry”, China was shown with the label “they make our stuff”, the Middle East had an arrow indicating “bombs go here”, and so on.

A bit amusing but not a patch on the Spitting Image version which, I’m pretty sure, would get me arrested or at the very least get my statue pulled down if I reproduced it here.

Anyway, some snowflake Red Bull employees were so “outraged” they “complained to HR” or, as we used to say at school, “ran to teacher”.

Their complaint? You guessed it… the slide was RACIST!

Oh for the love of dripping c** t! I’ve heard that drinking too much Red Bull can make you a bit jittery and anxious but if these soppy twats got an attack of the vapours over these half- arsed gags, they must be mainlining the f** king stuff.

We also heard that 300 Red Bull staff had signed a letter criticising the company’s “silence” on the Black Lives Matter brouhaha. How about this…

Maybe Red Bull was silent on the issue because the business of Red Bull is SELLING F** KING POP – not spouting off about the latest issue creating an itch in the Woke Brigade’s britches.

There is nothing, NOTHING that these permanently- agitated social justice warriors will not bitch and whine about.

And when they can’t find it, they just pretend to be outraged.

“Look how cross I am! Look at me, me MEEEEE!”

It seems that being perpetually furious is the new way to show to the world how GOOD you are. Sorry, folks.

To me you just look like toddlers who’ve shat their nappies.