COVID VACCINE MADE ME GROW WOMEN’S TITS!
Barry’s immune from bug …but has 36D KNOCKERS
WHEN ice cream distribution driver Barry Harper was furloughed from his job, he found that he had a lot of time on his hands.
He could – like many furloughed workers – have quickly sunk into drink- fuelled oblivion or joined the uninformed debate about COVID- 19 on social media.
But the 41- year- old singleton from Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, is made of sterner stuff than that.
So he set about trying to find a vaccine for the Chinese death plague that had laid the world low.
Despite having no formal scientific training beyond a D- grade GCSE in chemistry, he started tinkering with materials bought from the Dark Web in the search for a coronavirus cure.
Six weeks ago he injected himself with his prototype vaccine and since then has NOT caught COVID- 19 – proof enough that his elixir works.
However, there have been some complications…
As well as developing an uncanny resistance to the bug – which can kill a healthy elephant daft enough to eschew a face mask – Barry has grown 36D WOMEN’S TITS!
Saviour
The amateur boffin told Sunday Sport last night: “I was really hoping to be the saviour of mankind and was going to put my recipe on the internet – and give my vaccine to the whole world for free.
“But I can hardly do that if it’s going to make every bloke on Earth grow women’s tits.
“To be fair, they are lovely women’s tits and I’ve even had a tweak or two, as I’ve never felt a real woman’s tits, but they don’t suit me.
“And the shitting blood is a bit of a worry, too. Hey- ho, back to the drawing board.”
Barry is not the only boffin to hit difficulties developing a vaccine.
Last week, the trial of AstraZeneca’s prototype vaccine was put on hold when a UK participant was rushed to hospital after suffering a serious reaction that triggered inflammation of the spinal cord.