Wife does poo in cheat’s brekkie!
Fuming Janet shat in cheating hubby’s Rice Krispies
WRONG!
Revenge, as wayward Ken Linsey found out, is a dish served with a ruddy great POO at the bottom!
When Ken’s wife Janet found out that her spouse was slipping a length to a bird from the chippy, she kept her discovery quiet.
She gritted her teeth when Ken returned to the couple’s tidy, three- bedroom semi in Hartlepool, reeking of chip fat, mushy peas and ( fanny) batter.
But all the while, the 39- year- old was concocting a plan to get her own back.
Janet explained: “It came to me when Ken said that he loved Rice Krispies and that he’d not had them for years.
“I said to him, ‘ I’ll get you some, pet, when I go to the shops’.
“Next morning, before he came down for breakfast, I curled one off in the bowl before pouring his Rice Krispies and milk in.
Float
“I’d had some fruit cake the night before, so that it didn’t float.
“Ken came down and said, ‘ Hoy – Rice Krispies! I love Rice Krispies, me’.
“Then he gets closer and said, ‘ These look more like Coco Pops to me,’ and took a great big mouthful!
“You should have seen his face when he realised there was a big, f** k- off shite in the bowl!
“I said, ‘ I know what you’ve been doing with that lass from the chip shop, you dirty f** king wee c** t! “Now, sling your hook!” Ken, 43, who is now living in digs, told Sunday Sport: “Who shits in Rice Krispies? It’s utterly ungodly, that’s what it is!”
He added: “As well as that, it’s unhygienic. I’ve been to hospital to have tests for the typhoid and the cholera.
“When they asked me why I wanted a test, I told them, ‘ My wife shat in my Rice Krispies!’
“There was one young nurse there who started laughing!
“I said, ‘ It’s not funny, pet. I could have swallowed that big tord of hers’ – and she just laughed all the more. I’m going to put in a complaint – I want compo.
“Laughing at me because I near swallowed my wife’s tord!”
But fiesty Janet remains unrepentant.
She said: “I would do the same tomorrow… the dirty, cheating bastard.
“But I’m not sure if I can lay a tord like that one again. It was a beauty.”