JOHN LEWIS KILLED MY KIT TEN
LATEST TV AD: Kid and snowman play with balloon
CHRISTMAS used to be the season where the devout celebrated the birth of Our Lord, Jesus Christ.
These days, we are told, the most exciting part of the festive season is when some f** king shopkeeper unveils their seasonal TV advert.
For several years now, John Lewis has employed cold- eyed ad men to cynically pluck the heart strings of the simple- minded and urge them to pay hard- earned cash for trinkets and baubles.
But this year’s offering from the high- end retailer stands accused of more than just ruthless capitalism…
Because the 2020 Christmas ad has led DIRECTLY to the death of a KITTEN!
In one particularly mawkish part of the ad, a snowman floats away on a balloon.
But when little Hannah Mason, six, tried to recreate the scene using a helium balloon left over from her birthday and her pet kitten Topsy, disaster ensued.
For shrieking Topsy was hoisted aloft by the balloon and floated over Hannah’s home town of Crewe, Cheshire, to near- certain doom.
Hannah’s mum Karen said: “Hannah’s got it into her head that if we go looking for Topsy we’ll find her safe and sound.
“But I’ve had to explain to her that the odds of her little kitten surviving are less than slim.
“My bet is that she came down on a railway line, or was shot by feral youths with an airgun. Either way, we won’t see Topsy again.
“Poor little Hannah… she’s so upset. I got her Topsy for her birthday and now I’ll have to buy her a new kitten for Christmas.
“I shall be writing to John Lewis because I think they should stump up for the new kitten.
“In a very real sense, with this irresponsible new advert, they killed my daughter’s kitten.”
The retailer says it considered shelving its traditional festive TV advert over concerns it may not be “appropriate” – with bodies piling up due to COVID – but charity partners persuaded them to go ahead.