Jesus f**king Christ, is that you Mr Brown?
PUPIL SPOTS TEACHER SHAGGING OUTSIDE CAFE NEAR SCHOOL
PETER Tomkins had no reason to ever think he’d see his form tutor again after leaving school aged 16 with a solitary GCSE in woodwork.
And for 20 years – as he built a successful identity theft business – Peter hardly gave Graham Brown a second thought.
That is until Wednesday when the shocked 37- year- old spotted his former tutor… balls deep in a ladytramp outside a closed- down café.
Laughing
Peter, originally from Manchester but now living in posh Winsford, Cheshire, was taking wife Laila on a trip down memory, showing her some of his old haunts.
Peter said: “I was amazed that the café was still there, unchanged. Most traditional cafes in Manchester have turned into boutique delis for hipsters.
“But then, as we got nearer, I could see there was a couple shagging in the doorway. He was back- scuttling her and me and Laila were laughing.
“Then it hit me. I recognised him – it was Mr Brown, my old form teacher!
“I said, ‘ F** k me! Mr Brown!’ “He recognised me straight away and pulled out – just as he was on the vinegar stroke – and his spunk went all over his lady’s shellsuit.
“She went bananas and called him a dirty old c** t.
“Under the circumstances, we didn’t go over.
“Imagine that, though. Seeing Mr Brown after all these years? What are the chances?”
A search of the archives reveals that Graham Brown was sacked from his teaching job in 2001 after allegations he was caught sniffing the netball team’s kit.
His life appears to have spiralled downhill since that time and he has amassed a string of convictions for drunkenness, indecency and public beastliness.