SCHLONG COVID!
Flasher banned from test centre in Britain
A PERVERT has been BANNED from every COVID- 19 testing centre in the country – because he only wants to flash his KNOB.
Convicted flasher Jon Green was issued with the blanket ban by magistrates after receiving complaints from TWO testing centres in the West Midlands.
Penis
Green, 43, had queued up with scores of others for the simple oral and nasal swabs which detect whether people have coronavirus.
But once he entered into the private cubicle for his test, Green instantly removed his trousers and underpants and “presented his flaccid penis to staff”, magistrates were told.
When shocked workers ordered him to pull them back up, Green told them he had “misunderstood” the testing methodology.
The court – which we cannot name for legal reasons – was given a report by prosecutors detailing his sick modus operandi.
It said: “The defendant seemed very proud of showing his genitals, cradling his penis in the palm of his hand, much like a table tennis professional would cup his ping pong ball before a serve.
“He presented his flaccid penis to staff but he clearly enjoyed every moment of it. There was lots of eye contact and no doubt he sought some sort of sexual gratification.”
Jobless Green – who has repeatedly tested negative for COVID- 19 – was issued with a temporary banning order barring him for entering any testing sites in the UK.
He was told to only seek help if he displayed any symptoms or was advised to do so by the government’s test and trace system.